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Draplin Design Co., North America
Things We Hate
  1. The farce Presidency of that goddamned George Bush.
  2. Southern California.
  3. Hollywood and all its trimmings.
  4. Pop Culture Sluts.
  5. Kid Rock.
  6. Nü Metal.
  7. Sitcoms.
  8. Gridlock.
  9. Summer heat.
  10. Cop stance.
  11. Turbulence at 30,000 feet.
  12. Taking off in a big-ass jet plane.
  13. Dropped cell phone calls.
  14. Loud fucks on a cell phone.
  15. Tsunamis.
  16. The Iraq “War.”
  17. Charlie-horse wake up calls.
  18. Flat tires.
  19. Grooms who wear sandals at their weddings.
  20. Anything with a goddamned “Beach Theme.”
  21. Disciplining little Gary.
  22. The moment the mechanic gets done with yer oil change and politely informs you he “found” an additional $1350 in repairs.
  23. Sock and sandal combos.
  24. The random “Princes of Dorkness” in a mall.
  25. Hot Topic bondage pants
  26. Malls.
  27. People who say “Woo-Hoo.”
  28. Dust bunnies.
  29. Spiders.
  30. Halitosis.
  31. Bills.
  32. When the guitar gets “detuned” by visiting “musicians.”
  33. Lost remote controls.
  34. Paper cuts.
  35. Bad kerning.
  36. “Clicking” hard drives.
  37. Sore throats.
  38. Missing home.
  39. Fannypacks.
  40. Kitchen humor.
  41. Sushi.
  42. Tribal tattoos.
  43. Big Nike logos on the back window of a rig.
  44. Logo whoring by A+F, American Eagle, Old Navy and Gap.
  45. The stretch of the 405 from LA down to Irvine.
  46. Surfer lore.
  47. The word, “Dude.” Oh man, enough already.
  48. Fucks who do the “Yah, yah, yah…” affirmation conversation killer.
  49. Happy hikers.
  50. Milk with dinner.
  51. Getting yer car towed.
  52. Encores.
  53. Artichoke hearts.
  54. Republican NeoCons.
  55. The band Creed. Those motherfuckers.
  56. Flight attendant attitude.
  57. Aqua Socks.
  58. “Uncle” Vans shoes.
  59. Golf sweatshirts.
  60. Faux “worn” hats. Motherfuckers.
  61. Faux “worn” anything.
  62. Bitch Devil Wife Complex.
  63. Toby Keith.
  64. Toby Keith’s nose.
  65. Toby Keith’s facial hair.
  66. Jock patriot anthems.
  67. Country singers in the Bahamas.
  68. Snowboarding Scene Claustrophobia.
  69. Woe stories from a relative.
  70. The state of contemporary roadside signage.
  71. People recounting the previous night’s drink list.
  72. Poorly-kerned anything.
  73. Predictable encores.
  74. Mark “Marky Mark” Wahlberg. Overactiing, all the time.
  75. Rascall Flats.
  76. Hollywood, Nashville.
  77. Country music clich├ęs.
  78. The “American Chopper” design sense: Bad photoshoppery, flames and shit.
  79. Overactive bass players. Just settle down, already.
  80. Painful band publicity shots.
  81. DIY disc packaging. Hire someone for fuck’s sake.
  82. MBDI disc packaging. Asin, “Yeah dude, ‘My Brother Did It’…” shit.
  83. Artichokes.
  84. Olives.
  85. Capers.
  86. Beets.
  87. Honey Mustard.
  88. Dancehall music.
  89. WalMart.
  90. Dollar General.
  91. The strangling of America.
  92. Drivers who don’t use their turn signals.
  93. Cigarette butts.
  94. Cigarette smoke.
  95. Vurps. (Vomit Burps.)
  96. Tom DeLay.
  97. Rush Limbaugh anything.
  98. Fish bowl smell in a glass of water at a restaurant.
  99. Infomericals.
  100. Ted “Pastor Ted” Haggard, the Evangelist preacher who rallied against homesexuality, then got caught in a gay sex scandal, high as hell on meth. God Bless America.
  101. Cute bands with nominal talent.
  102. Tools made in China.
  103. A dull blade.
  104. Utah style wars.
  105. Warren Jeffs and his malicious ways.
  106. Sub Division signage. IE: Sherwood Acres of Whispering Dicks or whatever.
  107. Nike logos on a truck cab window.
  108. Cellphones with obnoxious ringtones.
  109. The “strip malling” of America.
  110. PBR aftertaste.
  111. Foundation makeup.
  112. The Tea Party.
  113. Guy Fieri.
  114. Michele Bachman, that hateful beast of a woman.
  115. Karl Rove’s snide smile.
  116. Anything Rick Santorum.
  117. The middle seat on a plane.
  118. Whiteout conditions whiel driving.
  119. Stacked food.
  120. Prime mark abuse.
  121. Cab drivers who just don’t give a fuck.
  122. Airport luggage handler tarmac dudes, whipping shit around.
  123. Red-eye flights. Getting too old for that shit.
  124. First class passengers, eyeballing us dregs as we board.
There Are 25 Comments

I am hurt…you better remove kid rock from this list! You will regret it when I bring him home to meet the family sometime!!!!

He very well may be yer brother-in-law someday!

Remove him now!

Posted by: Sarah on 06/13/05 at 4:47 PM

Woe stories from a relative? hmmm. You sound like you are very caring person. Didya ever think that maybe people need to talk about their problems to make themselves feel better? I didn’t think so. You are still young and haven’t experienced life in all it’s ups and downs glory. When things go bad, it’s your family that picks you up and tries to help. Thank God your parents helped me through my tough times several years ago. They are both very caring people.
Ask Gary what he thinks about that!

Posted by: Patrick Steele on 10/01/05 at 3:05 PM

Occasionally, I drink milk with dinner. We could have a problem now with our friendship. Thoughts?

Posted by: Jessica McMenamin on 08/10/06 at 8:18 AM

You forgot to add Sean Hannity and his taint

Posted by: Mark Phillips on 02/07/07 at 11:47 PM

oh my god , how can you hate my man toby keith , you got to be stupid to hate him , he’s like the sexyiest man alive ,

Posted by: stacy on 02/23/07 at 2:46 PM

Proposed Addition: Bad line heights. Motherfuckers.

Posted by: Phil Nelson on 10/15/07 at 10:24 PM

Man you guys “raise the bar” on hating shit. “Jealous. Part of one.”

Posted by: Stevaker on 12/04/07 at 10:39 AM

So we shouldn’t expect to find you on Kenny Chesney’s boat for the special concert tour through the Bahamas with him, Toby Keith, Kid Rock and Uncle Kracker?

Yeah you wouldn’t find me there either. I’ll be at home wishing Hank Williams would rise from his grave and kick them all in the ass with his bony foot.

Posted by: Maurice on 03/14/08 at 1:08 PM

Good list. Another proposed addition:

People who think they are funny when they make fun of Comic Sans. You’re not clever, and it’s definitely not funny anymore.

Posted by: Mig Reyes on 07/23/08 at 10:57 AM

Are you kidding… worst person in politics by far is Bill Kristol… that cocksucker gets to a write a column in the NYT every week now even after all the horrible shit he has done.

Posted by: Billy Carlson on 07/23/08 at 11:33 AM

i stongly disagree with 82- 86…. and fanny packs
everything elce is right on though.

Posted by: pop on 07/26/08 at 4:09 PM

I’m from Utah and am wondering what you mean by item 103, “Utah style wars.” I’m not offended or anything, I just don’t know what that means… wars in the style of the historical event called the Utah War (there was one, look it up)? The culture wars that go on around here all the time? Problems with style in this state? I’m genuinely curious and would appreciate a reply…

Posted by: jason on 07/31/08 at 11:20 AM

As a native and resident of Southern California, I would like to apologize for the 15 million terrible people that live here. Also, I apologize for the heat and the beach.

Now Honey Mustard, that’s completely unfair.

If you need me, I will be in the tanning bed.

Posted by: Ryan Hammill on 08/01/08 at 11:59 AM

@Mig Reyes - there’s nothing funny about Comic Sans, or about hating Comic Sans.

Posted by: Altidude on 05/13/09 at 11:13 PM

This is pretty perfect. I think we are soul mates but I’m a dude so F’ it.

Posted by: Daniel on 06/26/09 at 10:04 AM

Put a lime in the PBR. Cuts the aftertaste down to something more palatable, and keeps the scurvy at bay.

Posted by: John Swanson on 09/26/09 at 9:54 AM

Fannypacks? *cough* I guess that’s what we in the UK call bumbags… there are a few others that require translation (or are purely American concerns) but most of it is, I reckon, universal.

Posted by: Rachael on 01/15/10 at 5:59 AM

he he. right on man. how about:
112. people griping at other people for choosing to use a mac
113. people griping at other people for choosing to use a pc

Posted by: Brandon on 04/21/10 at 5:39 AM

Capers make smoked salmon a true breakfast WINNER. Wrong on that one…

Posted by: Kyle Bunting on 03/04/11 at 5:51 PM


Posted by: Luoma on 04/03/11 at 3:38 PM

Just a heads up…you have “bad kerning” and then “poorly kerned anything” does that count as a repetition? Maybe the extra emphasis is needed to really drive the point home!

Posted by: Levi on 05/07/11 at 9:39 PM

The fact that you have a “things we hate” list on your companies site makes me even more pissed that I can’t make your talk in philly tonight. Truly an inspiration!

Posted by: chris on 09/28/11 at 1:10 PM

Like the blog, I was wondering, did you get someone to design it for you or did you do it all by yourself? Have a great day! :-)

Posted by: Grace on 11/10/11 at 2:17 PM

Love your stuff. You’re talented, to the point that I was considering contacting you for my business. But this ended up abruptly with all your California hating…all over your site. Are you 10 years old. Fuck You.

Posted by: Him on 11/07/12 at 8:07 PM

Came across DDC in a design book I saw today at the Tate (art gallery, Liverpool, England) today. Totally blown away by the design and then been gawping at the website all day. Love your stuff. ALL of it. Gary stole my heart then I read he died, so that proved to be a bit of a rollercoaster to tackle in one day.
Only discrepancy is your beef with items 84 + 85 as they’re two of my favourite things, but ima let them slide. Also had to Google some of the American celebrities, but after discovery can only agree wholeheartedly with Toby Keith’s nose + facial hair ‘hatred’. What a wazzock.

Anyhow, enough said.
I think your designs are boss and I’m made up to have stumbled across you. Keep up the good work.

HF (Manchester, England)

Posted by: helenfrancesca on 02/09/13 at 5:27 PM
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