HAIL THE KINGDOMS OF DARKNESS, AND WHATEVER OTHER EVIL BULLSHIT: I’ve been on a metal kick as of late. Heavier the better. And I’ve dug into the earth’s lightless crevasses and hellholes, things have gotten darker and darker. More and more evil. Or so the lyrics tell me. Black magic and shit.

And I find the shit hilarious, and just fuckin’ awesome. Fun shit like: Satanic rituals to the bong rip of the universe inside a goat head shrouded in the wizard smoke of beezlebub with a naked chick praying to the overlord as a dragon is sacrificed with a motorcycle revving and a couple stoners and an impending sense of doom. Shit like that.

So yeah, shit’s been getting dark. May the black magic swallow us up.

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AND HOLY FUCK: In my search for weirder and weird shit, I’ve come across some pretty painful Sabbath rip-off shit. I’m not naming names, but fuck, so many Black Sabbath rips. Goddamn pirates. Let those records be. And what the fuck is up with the Sleep rip-offs? Have you—stoned overlords of the night—no shame? C’mon, rockers. Jeez-o-pete.

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AND FUCK THAT NEW BLACK SABBATH RECORD: No Bill Ward? No way. Satan is pissed.