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Draplin Design Co., North America
February 20, 2008
California Nostrils
Posted at 06:07 AM


FUCK YOU, “LOST”: Yeah, so, we’re hooked in a bad way on the Lost show. Oh well. Sure, it’s fun and all, but, man, the thing that really fucks me up in the show are all the goddamn “California Noses.”

You know, those carved-up, plastic surgery’d, nosejob nostrils? Yeah, you know what I mean. “California Nostrils.” Throw in some fake boobs and some botox lips, and man, you got the whole package.

We started Season Three last night, and man, there’s this new blonde chickie on it, and man, she’s got those carved-out nostrils. The “Juliet” character. Fuckerface! Makes me want to turn off the thing and just give up.

But I won’t. Pathetic, actually. I can’t turn back now. I mean, shit, like I have anything else to live for, y’know?

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And, for the record, I feel like a real dick for writing this, and, prob’ly am. Oh well. My dilemna.

My nose is big and gross and even has a couple little hairs growing out the end. And it’s gonna stay that way, man. (See attached, you thugs.)

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More things that are pathetic, on my end: Been prowling message boards for insider tips and shit about the show, and came across some real vitriol late last night. Read on…

Here’s what “Liquorcart” had to say about her introduction on to the show: “Juliet’s plastic surgery face is the biggest distraction on my TV screen during Lost. It is my one complaint about my favorite show. Why did they cast this actress? She has had so much Botox, and obviously an eye job. Her eyebrows are permanently raised and her cheeks do not move. Even if she is trying, we do not see this actress make a real facial expression. Are we supposed to believe that she has been receiving Botox injections on the island? Maybe the writers should address this. Have Patchy set up an appointment for her weekly Botox. Or better yet, kill her off!”

We are right there with you, Liquorcart. Pour yerself another one.

There Are 7 Comments

What’s worse is when they cast “plastic surgery” after-photo people into reality shows. Yes, reality TV shows, like The Amazing Race. If I recall, season 6 was nothing but “mactors” or model+actors, pretty people who are the furthest thing from reality.

Thankfully, we can all watch The Biggest Loser and see “real” people working their asses off and not trying to skate by on looks alone.

As far as Lost goes, this season is getting interesting again. They’re finally giving us some answers to what’s going on with the island. I won’t spoil it for you, but some of the pieces of the puzzle are finally starting to fall into place and gives us possible answers as to why there was a polar bear on the island, why there was a 18th century ship marooned in the middle of the island, etc. But still no answer as to what the black cloud monster is…

Posted by: Cameron Barrett on 02/21/08 at 6:36 AM

all those people are way too well groomed to be LOST on a desert island (with the possible exception of hurley), but that’s hollywood for you. i can only really handle keeping up with the oceanic-everchanging-# through a combination of DVR and torrents. if your tastes run more raw and real than ABC affords (as do mine), check out The Wire— a labor of love as well as a truly epic TV masterpiece.

Posted by: rcotton on 02/21/08 at 8:25 AM

I can’t decide if this is the Funniest Post Ever or the Angriest Post Ever. Good stuff.

RE: Lost. Make sure you check out all the secret websites out there. Oceanic Airlines etc..

Posted by: MC on 02/21/08 at 8:40 AM

Hey Drap, here’s the trick… Get a widescreen TV and watch all the 4:3 shows stretched. Bam! Everyone just got shorter and gained a few pounds!

Posted by: Andrius Simutis on 02/22/08 at 12:09 PM

check out “The Wire”. You will have no problems there. If you have not been through “Deadwood” yet you TRULY are a sucker. -Bart

Posted by: bart on 02/22/08 at 1:07 PM

Dude, wait till you get to season 4. Not saying the nose jobs get better, but your mind will be blown. First show in a long time (particularly in that whole sci-fi genre) that has roped me in like this one.

Posted by: thefirst3rd on 03/02/08 at 5:04 PM

I feel your pain. I never intended to watch this show, but *accidentally* watched the 2 hour recap special last year and got sucked in. I’m watching Season 4, while catching up on the previous 3 seasons. If it makes you feel any better, I’m also reading Living Lost and barely restraining myself from the Lost Experience.

Posted by: Chloe Eudaly on 03/04/08 at 4:36 PM
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