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Draplin Design Co., North America
August 05, 2004
Posted at 01:15 AM

HOMEOWNING!: Housewarmin’ on the DDC Factory Floor.

The Draplindustries Design Co.-in loose conjunction with Sandy Blvd., some concerned neighbors, and a combination of Northeast Portland trees, grass and sky-is pleased to announce our official “Big Move” into our new digs. And to celebrate this new beginning, we’re flying the parents out from Michigan to kick the day’s ass, and have everyone over to give the place a thorough “onceover.”

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HOUSEWARMIN’: Come and see an unhealthy ratio of “design equipment” vs. “actual real life living stuff.” Cool off in the basement. Surf the Internet. Enjoy the ovenlike summertime temperatures of our upstairs bungalow. Get pissed off and alienate yerself from yer partner and then “lay low” in a corner of the backyard. Take a shower. Watch some tube. Do some laundry. Play a guitar. Design something. Dig through shit. Judge our record collection.

DDC PARENTAL MEET-AND-GREET: Their one and only Oregon appearance this year, we bring you Jim and Lauren Draplin. Tall tales, good advice, and lifetime friendship are offered at no cost to all in attendance.

NOURISHMENT, REFRESHMENTS: Rod Snell was gracious enough to offer up his “Barbecutioner” rig for the afternoon. Burgers, dogs, veggie burgers, hunks of fish, horse hooves-whatever you want to throw down-will be served up piping hot. Ravage our supply or bring yer own. No big whup. Our Gu-aaron-tee™: No one goes home hungry. For those with “hot pipes,” we’ll be offering cold beer, cokes, wine and cool water. Drink ‘til you puke. (Is that good for the grass?)

A “REAL GOOD™” TIME: Make a friend. Talk some shit. Call someone out. Loose conversation is mandatory. No fights. No wrastlin’. “You break it, you buy it” policy is in effect. Lose money on dice games. Tell people lies over cool beverages. Air some grievances. Steal something. Get pissed. Get happy. Singles: Meet someone new. Couples: Go home with someone smarter.

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Saturday, August 14th, 2004. Shit gets rolling at 4-5 o’clock in the pm, and proceeds until someone gets hurt.

2946 NE 67th, Portland, Oregon., USA. (A minty little shitshack just a couple blocks south of Sandy Blvd., on the left side.)

(+) Feel free to sleep over in the backyard. Free star gazing courtesy of God, or something.

There Are 7 Comments

Fuck, man.

I wish I could come out and see the new Felony Flats castle. No way I’m gonna make it, though. Bums me out.

9 days notice for a 46 hour drive or a cheap flight is rough man, rough…

Posted by: Kurty on 08/05/04 at 6:47 PM

Kurt, you pussy. Fuck it. We’ll jump in the rig and kick Oregun’s ass.

Posted by: Ryno on 08/05/04 at 6:58 PM

I think I’d actually go to that if I didn’t live on the other side of the planet - or country I mean.

Posted by: Tuesday on 08/05/04 at 7:18 PM

Sling a pooch onto the grill for me and then let it accidentally fall through, down onto the hot coals until it shrivels up into a mean-looking little grey leathery thing, ‘cause I won’t be there to eat it anyways and as long as I can’t have it, nobody should.

Posted by: Coudal on 08/05/04 at 7:31 PM

Kurty & Ryno:

Wouldn’t that “46 hour” ride be worth it to spend a quality evening with the draplin clan?????

I’d much rather take that road trip than the flights…..

You guys will be there in our thoughts; but if you’re not there, then we have license to talk about you!

Aaron’s dad was counting on drinking a few beers with you ugly fuckers……

Posted by: momma d. on 08/06/04 at 5:18 AM

Damn, I’m gonna miss it and miss seeing the Draplin parental units. I’ll be in Florida this weekend, and then back to NYC before I get in my shitty car to drive back to Portland. Fuckin’ 2500 miles with no A/C in August. Whee.

Posted by: Cameron on 08/09/04 at 8:37 PM