The 12 commandments of your dad: words of wisdom from your dear old dad, age 63, going on 7:

1. E.S.P. - Extra-sensory Polack.

2, Buy American.

3. The sphincter is the smartest muscle in your body: it can distinguish between a solid, a liquid and a gas.

4. I don’t want to have it all; I just want ONE of everythiing…..

5. Man cannot live by pizza alone.

6, Never pass a garage sale; cuz you just never know what will be there…..

7. If its free, take it.

8. At a restaurant, empty the dish of after-dinner mints into your pocket.

9. Drink Canadian Beer

10. Never pay retail; ferret out the deals.

11. Don’t throw anything away; you never know when you might need it.

12, I own the road (when driving); the sooner everyone else realizes this, the better off we all will be.