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Draplin Design Co., North America
February 21, 2006
Posted at 08:17 AM


Gary’s barking is reaching this fucked, unbearable level the last couple days. The random explosions, the incessant outbursts at visiting friends and his shrill ability to fill up the whole room and simultaneously rattle the deepest depths of yer soul.

I don’t know how to break the little man of his mighty decibels.

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I’ve tried the soda can full of coins. No big whup.

I’ve tried the squirt bottle. He started to catch the spray as little “drinks.”

I’ve sat him down and tried a heart-to-heart talk. He climbed under a blanket.

I’ve threatened him with his life. He took no offense.

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These little fuckers…man…that bark of his is enough to just ruin a whole fuckin’ day.


There Are 12 Comments

the vets will perform a surgery to remove his vocal chords for a nominal fee.

Posted by: frank zuccini on 02/21/06 at 1:06 PM

Cell phones ringing, dogs barking, and car alarms. I hate them all. Babies crying too… that, and when doorbells ring on television commercials.

Posted by: kurt Halsey on 02/21/06 at 2:12 PM

or wake your 2 kids up from naps all the time. sucks huh? we can’t our dog to shut up either. we tried all that shit too…

Posted by: jim Golden on 02/21/06 at 3:50 PM

here’s a thought… get a girlfriend… knock her up… marry her… then once the baby has arrived you won’t even hear Gary’s bark becasue you’ll be up to your earlobes in diapers and crying… good luck…

please follow the order of this and no other substituions can be made to make Gary’s barking silence iself…

Posted by: styk on 02/21/06 at 4:23 PM

Haha!! You never cease to crack me up. Anytime I am having a shitty day I turn to your site for a good chuckle.
Thanks :) My cat pushed a huge crystal vase with a manky plant clipping and about a quart of stinky water onto my head at 5:30 am yesterday to wake me up. FUCKER!! I scared him so badly with my outbursts that he threw up on the floor, which, in my visionless (contacts) fury I immediatly stepped in. Killer way to start the day, but there are bigger issues in the world, eh? How about dingleberry-head wanting to sell our 6 US Ports to Saudi Arabia? Am I in the fucking twilight zone? Peas-

Posted by: Jill on 02/22/06 at 6:42 AM

i hate to say this….but it’s time. there one cure for this…and it ain’t pretty. shock collar. in fact, i recommend both of you get one. so you don’t feel bad.

Posted by: suelee on 02/22/06 at 6:48 AM

They have collars with Citronella spray in them. Every time Gary barks, citronella gets sprayed upwards toward his nose. Apparently, dogs hate this smell and it supposedly works. Just a suggestion.

Posted by: Lover of all things dog on 02/22/06 at 8:15 AM

Citronella spray bark collar. Stops the barking while leaving behind a pleasant orange scent. Approved of by all the animal loving type organizations. We have one if you want to test it out before buying


Posted by: MC on 02/22/06 at 8:44 AM

Well, some maternal advice:

Get professional help. Seek out the ‘dog whisperer’ or someone of the same persuasion……..he’s got that damn Napoleon syndrome.

The citronella collar sounds humane……

Clipping the vocal chords will NOT change HIS actions or attitude, just help YOUR surroundings. You need to help him learn to change…..

This is in no way criticism, either. Locking him in a room with no food or water (remember when you were a little boy??) will do no good. You can win this fight. You are the master of HIS domain.

Posted by: momma d on 02/22/06 at 11:03 AM

When you get that collar. Bring him over to our house. We have a mosquito problem.

Posted by: Chuck on 02/23/06 at 9:50 AM

Your Mom is right. Check out the dog whisperer on National Geographic. You are the pack leader and calm / assertive body language. It’s helped with our two mutts……. The walking thing he recommends helps as well.

Posted by: Rod on 02/23/06 at 3:50 PM

Hey Aaron
I love the Gary info and Gary photos. When you first purchased your “little man” I knew what you were getting into. Those little hot dogs are yippers and yIpers. They cain’t help it. It’s who they is and what they do. There is one pleasure a dog cannot live without and that is his sense of smell. It is intense and magnified. Cutting the chords or spraying his nostrils, is a travesty I can’t even think about. It’d be like taking your keyboard away and spraying some putrid lysol spray all day long ….. :0. YIKES

Posted by: mary finnegan on 03/10/06 at 8:07 AM
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