We kicked some Southeastern Tex-Ass.

Austin/San Antonio/Houston: Three cites in three days.

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Rose, Bridges, Violette, Nusenow and Draplin. Much speculation from industry insiders… involving clandestine operations. Hmmm.

The troops congregated Thursday night in Austin. We made our way into town, secured sleeping quarters and swaggered out into the night. 6th street is the hot spot for the boozers, brawler and bimbos. Lots of rowdiness, new highs, new lows, pissed-in pants, altercations, inebriations, slurs, hysterics, etc. We were even kicked out of Emo’s punk rock bar. Hell, we didn’t even get in and were being escorted out. Everyone made it through the night unscathed. Suck-cess. Moons were howled at, grounds were stood.

The next day we started off things with a hearty meal at Juan in a Million’s. Good eats and hearty handshakes. Juan greeted us and saw to our breakfast needs. Juan can shake a mean hand, and holds the title for “Austin Restauranteur Handshake of the Year”, a title he created and wins each year.

We left for San Antonio. Some 80 miles south, we rolled into the big city and located the Alamo. Oh yeah, we remembered it, and paid our respects as good Americans should. Lots of history. Fascinating. San Antonio has a beautiful, bustling downtown… complete with a disorienting river walk section filled with bars and shopping options. Good times. Highlights include Alamo artifacts (the original Jim Bowie “Bowie knife,” the Tower of the Americas and a mean steak/ribs dinner downtown.

Our third day was spent in Houston. A Mexican flea market captivated the group on the way there, offering lane after lane of colorful vendors. Houston is big. 4th biggest metropolis in the states. One wouldn’t think so. We do now. Lots of office buildings and a ton of surrounding communities. The immensity of the place creeps on you as you cruise around.

A good time was had by all. Five dudes checking out a corner of the states previously unexplored by the group. Many more to go. The whirlwind tour winded down without event. The rental car was returned intact. We flew back to our respective homes Sunday afternoon. Thanks to all in attendance.

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The results are in:

01. Most atomic handshakes with Juan: 4 shakes, 162 psi, A.Draplin
02. Most sucker punches to the designated driver: 6, M.Nusenow
03. Most time stone-cold sober: 5 of 60 hours, A.Draplin
04. Most time completely shit-faced: 50 of 60 hours, P.Bridges
05. Most pummeled: 16 bruises, E.Rose
06. Most miles logged in rental car: 1000+, A.Draplin
07. Most fassiest award: P.Bridges’ feet
08. Most times booted out of establishment: 3, P.Bridges
09. Most times threatened to be booted out: 15, P.Bridges
10. Most Skechers: 1 pair, A.Draplin
11. Most back hair: 67 hairs per square inch, E.Rose
12. Most petrone shots: 96, cumulative group
13. Most decibels inside a elevator: 112db, E.Rose
14. Most pickles stuck in their soft drink: 3, P.Bridges