Tomorrow is my little sister Leah’s 18th birthday.

Whoa…18! I remember her wrapped-up-like-a-little-kowalski-sausage in the maternity ward like it was yesterday. She was an angel straight from heaven above. Her formative years were peaceful ones, filled with loving a brother and sister, and good parents in peaceful Northern Michigan burgs. She enjoyed playing with friends and looking up to her brother. They were good years for all of us.

And now, on the 11th we need to take a second to wish her a happiest of birthdays. Leah has turned into a beautiful young lady. We wish her the best from 18 on.

Now, I’m not gonna preach to her, I’m not gonna wave a finger in her face warning her of life’s winding roads, but, I will leave her with 10 pieces of priceless ranch knowledge.

1. Never smack a man who’s chewin’ tobacco.
2. It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
3. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
4. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
7. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.
8. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier ‘n puttin’ it back.
9. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
10. Never miss a good chance to shut up.